aMaNdA

FINAL DAY OF 2011!

2011-12-31T13:44:00.002+08:00

Let's give thanks for 2011!

What do you have to give thanks for?

Well, 2011 was a year of many new things for me. New career, New school, New relationships, re-Newal of faith, New life.

I embarked on my career in early childhood and even started my diploma studies this year. It has been a challenge, a tiring journey. But, i am thankful that God has strengthened me and blessed me with loving and caring brothers and sisters around me in Charis and SEED to encourage and cheer me on. I am thankful that i can be a blessing to them as well. :)

New relationships - By God's grace, i am thankful that i have strengthened and improved my relationship with daddy and mummy. I can see how God has worked in my life by allowing me to be patient most of the time and be able to hold proper and mature conversations with them. He has also allowed me to understand the love and care my parents have showered on me all these 23years of my love. Despite all the frustrations and anger that i had before, they still loved me the same.

By His loving grace, i have also renewed some friendships. Over the season of giving and sharing, i met up with zijun, alice, huiting and peishan. Friends that i have not met for years. A simple dinner affair just made the whole heart felt so warmed and loved. Praise God for His abundant love peace hope and joy!

This year was an emotional year for me. It was definitely a journey of ups and downs and how i was brought to come forth before the Lord to confess and proclaim His love for me to the world. I was baptised on October 16. This is the day that marked a new life and new faith for me. A journey of loving, sharing, caring, encouraging, blessing, etc lies ahead of me as i walk hand in hand with the Lord and bring more people to come to know this loving Father and experience His greatness! :)

As 2012 approaches in a few hours, i pray that my family and friends continue to seek joy love peace and hope in the Lord and trust in Him that He can make the change in their lives and He will be there for us whenever we look up. :)

For we are called, His children.

Hallelujah. Praise the Lord. AMEN!

a brand new beginning..

2011-10-21T14:04:00.002+08:00

16 October 2011 - this marks another milestone of my Christian life in Charis Tabernacle.
This date and day marks my water baptism at East Coast Park.

A year and a half ago, i never sought God for anything and everything. I depended mostly on myself and abit of luck. I never imagines how powerful and amazing His blessings can be. Indeed, He is awesome.

I never imagined my life now before. I never thought i could openly share about Christ and His blessings the way im doing now. I never dared imagine i could ever get this close with daddy. Its just amazing how God took away all the differences and unhappiness away and blessed my lives and those around me.

Once again, God is great.

Im thankful for pastors, the brothers and sisters in church for being so encouraging, supportive and caring towards new believers like myself. And i thank God for strengthening me each time i fall. Indeed, His abundant blessings just fill me up. Amen!

As i embark on a new Christian journey, i pray for my parents and sister and nephew to be open to attending svc in Charis and to allow the fellow brothers and sisters and pastors to minister to them.

May the Lord bless them. Amen.

Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord

2011-08-29T19:43:00.002+08:00

:)

no words can describe the amount of joy, love and peace that i have experienced for the past few weeks! yes, i have officially submitted my membership form to Pastor Kian Cheng.. and yes, you will be expecting a new baptised ME!

Uncle Aaron asked me over lunch, "Amanda, why did you want to be a member? What is your purpose?"

i pondered for awhile. actually, what is the real purpose? Do we ALL need to have the same purpose? To me, it is a form of declaration. a form of commitment. a form of respect. a form of thanksgiving.

I want to take this step of faith to declare my love for Him. I want to commit my life into His hands and serve Him wholeheartedly. I respect His love for me because He has never forsaken me. And last but not the least, i want to thank Him for His abundant love showered unto me. I want to thank Him for not forsaking me. I want to thank Him for all the blessings He has showered unto me, my friends and my family. I want to thank Him for blessing me with such a wonderful church to grow in my spiritual walk. :)

THIS IS MY PURPOSE! AMEN! :D

No doubt, there are ups and downs in one's christian life. BUT, never give up. Never lose faith. Stay strong and close to God for He leads and guides you through it all.

1 Cor 10:13
Every test that you have experienced is the kind that normally comes to people. But, God keeps his promise, and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a wayout.

So, DONT WORRY! FEAR NOT FOR HE IS OUR LORD! HE IS OUR MIGHTY SAVIOUR! CAST YOUR FEARS UNTO HIM AND TRUST THAT HE WILL PROVIDE! :)

i definitely can see the change in myself. slow and steady. i never expected myself to see this side of me and i thank GOD that He changed me. and through Him, my relationship with dad and mum has improved so much. i can share more with dad now. i care more for mum now. :) As the Lord says and commands, we must honour our parents. and i thank God that He has spoken to them and saved them... :D

Praise Him!

Just a little problem now... i have tried to enfold him time and time again, shared with him my testimony about Christ in my life and how God has changed me and how God can also change him. but, i guess he isnt ready. and i dont have that energy to continue to enfold him. i guess deep inside, he is rather stubborn and has too much negativities inside. i pray for God to speak to him and pray for God's strength in me to speak to him more.. pray for an appropriate time too. :D

Another issue... i really hope my goodness and kindness is not misunderstood. if i misled you, i apologise.

GOD IS GOOD! wait, NO! GOD IS GREAT!!!

:D

Message Sent from Above :)

2011-08-14T15:02:00.002+08:00

a dream that was surreal has left me in great thoughts.
i am thankful for the people around me to support and encourage me to take that greater step of faith to claim His love for me.
[Pastor Kiancheng, Aiping, Khoonhiang, Jocelyn, Daryl, Chris, Caixin and Marissa]
Praise the Lord for these great brothers and sisters in my life!

Baptism has always been on my mind. I was baptised as birth as a Roman Catholic. Along the years of growing up, i backslided.

The past year has been sweet, tender, joyful, tearful and hopeful. I felt like i was a toddler growing under the loving hands of God all over again. He was there to guide me, hold me, shelter me, lead me and most importantly, love me.

when i was down, He was there. when i was joyful, He blessed me. when i have sinned, He forgave me. when i was lost, He found me.

I opened my eyes, ears and heart to Him. I set my foot down to decide that Charis is where i wanna serve and worship Him. This is where i want to continue to praise His Name and bring glory to Him. Praise the Lord!

I am thankful for the pastors, leaders, friends that i have met.

And now, it's another step that i should take to proclaim my love for God. May He continue to speak to me. May He continue to guide me and lead me and show me the paths i should take. His loving strength is abundant. Amen!

May I, His humble servant, come forth to praise His Name and may He use me as His living testimony to touch the hearts of my family and friends! Amen!

Lord, indeed you have been by me through it all. During my darkest hours, You shone your lights upon me to lead me. When i was down, you placed your hands upon me and wiped my tears with the back of Your loving hands. I thank you Lord for your grace and mercy upon me. Your abundant love is my amazing strength. I thank you and I praise you!

Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Sing praise! Amen!

tiffany & co

2011-04-07T23:59:00.002+08:00

okay, as title says... I AM IN LOVE WITH MANY THINGS UNDER THIS BRAND! SAVE MEEE!!

haha, well, i must thank someone indeed. =)

i am counting down to the day i get everything i want there...

as of now, i already have 1 down...heeheeeheeeeee!!!

just the way we are.

2011-03-31T16:09:00.000+08:00

yes, i am slowly learning to put all that has happened between us behind... nothing good will ever come out of it, i guess. we've tried, but i think friends are what we are good at and best will be.

=)

im happy that i have someone who cares for me, who knows me through and through and who is willing to be my ear.

thanks, booboo. have a safe trip and i cant wait for your return so we can go makan! (as you promised)

Life and Death

2011-03-27T20:28:00.002+08:00

Yes, that will be this year's Gospel message for OAR. =)
Come OAR in April, it will mark my 1-year anniversary with God. I've returned to the Lord's side and walked back into His Kingdom. The past 1 year had been very eventful - Both happiness and sadness filled the year. (i shall not repeat)

I thank the Lord for His constant love for me. I know His love will never die cos its so everlasting and abundant. I am assured of His strength and guidance becos He is my Provider; He is My King.

I will continue to serve Him and seek His Will for me to be done in my life, here on earth. I know there will be a right time where my hands will glorify His Name. His humble hands are placed on me to bless me with overflowing emotions and love for people around me. =)

Dear Sebby, i am sure you weren't aware of my blog and i am sure you will never come by this site ever again. But i am certain that you are looking over your family and friends from above with Our Heavenly King. The past week was definitely not easy for your loved ones and friends. But i am sure that you had a great one cos you have entered the Kingdom of God and you have been blessed with eternal life. Sebby, continue to speak to your family and friends. Remind them of your love for them and tell them how joyful and blessed you are now. =)

For those who have experienced the loss of a loved one or experiencing moments where you feel that your loved ones are leaving you, do not be in despair and lost cos the Lord will always ALWAYS be with YOU and walk through this tough times with YOU. Fear not, for the Lord will open His loving arms to welcome each and every one of us into His loving kingdom.

=)

Blessed are those who put their trust and love onto the King. :)

Praise the name of Jesus

2011-02-26T10:41:00.002+08:00

Praise the name of Jesus
Praise the name of Jesus
He's my Rock, He's my Fortress
He's my Deliverer
In Him will I trust.

Praise the name of Jesus.

=) Song for the morning. As the Lord prepares me for the weekend, i thank Him for gathering my family today for the celebration of my granny's birthday. May He bless the safe journey of all my relatives and may He bless us with a great time of fellowship over lunch as we share with one another what the week/month has been like for each and every one of us. =)

happy?

2011-02-26T01:58:00.003+08:00

here i am wondering what you have been up to all evening. here i am wondering if you have eaten. here i am wondering if you are asleep by now.

to find out by the wonderful technology called Facebook that you are out clubbing.

wow.

you know what, i hope that you are happy leading this life.

fool who's fooled

2011-02-25T09:51:00.002+08:00

yes, i just realised that im the biggest fool. the dumbest one. the silliest one. the stupidest one. the one who has been forking out time, effort, money and worst of all, her heart to someone who eventually wants to enjoy his singlehood now.

i am very disappointed in him and in myself. i cant believe i let myself fall into his trap. i cant believe ive let him take control of my emotions.

like seriously, what do you mean when you said "i like the way we are now.." and then disappear for weeks? and treat like nothing happened. yes, nothing major happened but why cant we just stay the way we are. things that you said, things that you do are just lies now.

the last thing i want is to lose a friend. and im sorry, its starting.

i know i told myself that our friendship will never change. but, i really cant. give me time pls. im really disappointed and hurt.

and all these, u will never never know.

my heart calls for you

2011-02-16T00:55:00.002+08:00

i know i shouldn't be feeling this way.
but honestly, i cant help it anymore.
i've tried to stop. i've tried to hold it back.

but, i cant. i've failed.

baby, you knew how i'm feeling inside.
but, you chose to treat it as a joke and laugh it off.

i told myself to get myself together and move on.

but, i cant. i've failed.

baby, you knew my care and love for you is this much.
but, you chose to brush it aside.

i told myself to stop giving in.

but, i cant. i've failed.

i still love you. i always will.

this is how it started. and i'm hoping it ends soon, pls.

Need You Now

2011-01-30T09:33:00.002+08:00

yesterday was such madness. my padlock on the gates have been destroyed. my main wooden door is damaged too.

to cut the long story short, basically my grandma was sound asleep from 2-9pm that she had no idea my aunt was banging outside for an hour. and so they called the police and scdf to knock the whole house down.

Thank God that granny is fine. even though EVERYONE is pissed off at the situation, but thankfully nothing happened to her inside. =)

Let's just hope we can move things better around the house. more keys? remove the latches? whatever it may be for the better of the whole house.

had a long chat with menghiang. it wasnt the best topic to talk about but im glad i could be her listening ear and hear her rant all the way. i will gladly be your ear, dear. =)

The whole week was spent with lucas and mom at Strathmore. Alot of things went through my head and i really am kinda affected but im hiding it all inside.

well, we have given ourselves a time frame to reach our goals. i really dont know if i can wait so long. i really dont know if i should even wait. what if someone else comes along your way and im forgotten? what if someone else comes along my way and you have been waiting?

there are just tooo many "what if" happening.

i wanna hear you. i wanna see you. i wanna be your first point of contact for anything that happens in your life. i wanna hold you.

i just wanna love you, my boo boo.

Praise the Lord

2011-01-15T13:58:00.002+08:00

Yes, as the title of the entry says: "Praise the Lord!!!!"

AMEN! God is Good! He is Great! =)

I am blessed with His love and grace. Attended a jobfair on Thursday at e2i for Preschool Education. Had interviews with Ntucfirstcampus, Knowledge Universe and PAP... This was just the 1st round of interview and they did mention that if i were to be shortlisted, they would give me a ring for 2nd interview.

The 2nd interview would be the tough one cos this is where i either make it or break it. It's a one-day attachment to the childcare centre they deploy me to and from there they will assess me again.

If i pass this round, i might be employed. Otherwise, i'm dead.

I trust in the Lord that He will bless me with all that i need. And indeed, He has heard my prayers and blessed me with a 2nd interview with Ntuc. And He knows that i have been yearning for a chance with Ntuc.

Isn't the King great? Amen! Indeed He is! =)

And now, i will do all i can to prepare for the 2nd interview on Wed, 19Jan, and leave the rest to God. For He and only He knows how to guide me, how to care for me and how to love me.

Cos, i am His child and i gladly praise His Name!

AMEN!

Have a blessed weekend my friends.

23 years of my life

2011-01-08T02:12:00.002+08:00

Yes, i have just entered into the 23rd year of my precious life that God has blessed me with.

Clearly, i can hardly remember what happened for the first 7years but me being a bratty little girl(who is the youngest of the family) asking for all that i want and whining to get everything i want. Of cos, i doubt that ever happened cos of how strict my parents are.

HAHA.

anyway, praise the Lord for 8 Jan 1988 that i was brought to the world. I thank Him for all the years of love, joy and peace that he has blessed me with all these years. The friends he has sent into my life to care, love and accept me for who i am. The family that he has brought me into to provide for me in every area of my life to their best abilities. Amen?

Happy birthday, Amanda Tan. 2011 will be a blessed year for me. =)

Amen.

Praise the Lord. God bless to everyone who reads this post.

Thanks!

Happy 2011

2011-01-03T21:14:00.002+08:00

okay. this post came a little too late. but still, HAPPY NEW YEAR to all who still read my blog covered with webs. =)

anyway, let's reflect what 2010 was like for me, shall we?

- I graduated with a Bachelor in Business (Economics & Finance)
- Flew to Boston on my own
- Found my first career in Advertising. Tried it and survived for 6mths.
- Erjie came back to SG (and is still ard till 7 Jan)

Most importantly, i found my life back with God. =) Amen! I must admit His love for me is sooo everlasting. He has never forsaken me despite my years of running away. You can run but you can never hide. God always has his plans for each and every one of us. Thank the Lord for saving me and bringing me back to his side. I gladly praise His Holy Name. =)

And now, let's see what to look forward in 2011:

- of cos, continue to grow and worship the Lord in Charis
- Be successfully employed with a childcare centre that manages well and is filled with nice pple
- Be successfully admitted to SEED Institute
- Work towards Membership course. Work towards Nursery Ministry
- Develop better relationships with my family and friends
- Successfully find my other half? (HAHA! Let's leave this to God.)

Now, all i wish and pray for is my successful application to Early Childhood.

May the Lord bless each and every one of you. =)

fuck you.

2010-12-30T00:28:00.001+08:00

you know what. sometimes i really had enough of your fucking attitude.

fuck you and fuck off.

not everytime everything is about you!

really had enough.

FUCK!

troubled heart

2010-12-29T01:35:00.002+08:00

seriously need to snap out of this and move on.

it will not get me far if i keep harbouring this thought in my puny brain.

all that fun have to be erased.

cos it will not do me and you any good.

i need to pull myself together.

i cant fall.

i really cant fall...

for you.

Lost and Confused

2010-10-31T15:42:00.002+08:00

i have no sense of direction anymore.

i am really tired and drained and burnt out.

i need a break, a good long break.

but when can that be?

i need to learn to be selfish and just put everything down and go.

but, i know i cant.

how long more can i hold? how long more should i hold?

am i really cut out to be in this?

i have no idea anymore.

i dont know what i want to do. i dont know where my passion lies in.

i dont know what my future lies ahead of me is.

but i know, My Lord will lead me.

all i ask of is that: Lord, before i fall, before i drown, pls save me.

i need directions, i need light. i need a hand to hold, a hand that guides.

Lord, i know you are here. I know you will guide.

And patience is all i need for you to show me.

But Lord, i am drained. i am tired. i am helpless.

i am scared.

An awesome Sunday!

2010-10-17T16:05:00.001+08:00

=)

all i can say is.. its awesome! My Lord My God has been great!

kekekekeke.

16 Oct 2010 - This very day i received a very precious gift.

2010-10-16T23:15:00.002+08:00

Amen! Praise the Lord! Hallejuah!

My walk with the Lord has met with many challenges, obstacles, difficulties and hardship. But nonetheless, i know i have my brothers and sisters around me who constantly show their love and support.

AMEN!

I walked away from the Lord 6years back. Today i was questioned if i ever want to make this mistake again and if im ready to let go of the past that keeps haunting me.

I was uncertain. I felt i wasnt ready. I felt i wasnt good enough.

But, something happened. Something amazing happened.

Thank you Lord for this gift. With this gift, i feel assured with your presence, love and protection. Thank you Lord for your abundant love.

AMEN!

Blessed Week

2010-06-27T00:34:00.002+08:00

A week with Publicis has past. I must say its been straining, draining, stressful, lost, yet challenging. definitely, i face alot of question marks when im assigned to a task. and im uncertain of the processes behind each assignment. and im uncertain of the outcome that im supposed to achieve after all the rush and chase.

but ive decided to open my big mouth and just bug my SAE and just go on and on and on and on and ask and ask and ask and ask ask ask.. cos thats the only way i can learn and grow and pick up the job asap (like how they want me to), isnt it?

well, i must say guiding and teaching isnt v efficient there. she hasnt sat down and gone through the backgrounds and processes with me. step by step. people by people. im not even officially introduced to the clients yet. well, tat says it all. without formal introduction, its hard for me to follow-up on jobs and see emails and reply emails and continue to work on the job. so everything is stuck between me and my SAE. she did ask me to followup on smth, which i did. and when i returned with an outcome, she took from there and went on. then she asked me to followup on the same job.. but, in between the two followups, things have changed and i wasnt briefed. so, there we go, im stuck and lost and questions start coming up all over again.

dont misunderstand this. i dont hate my job. in fact, i love it. i love the constant time chase rather than a mundane kind of office job that involves with just sitting there and type type type type type. so yes, i love it. i just need to be guided more and taught more. and i just need to test out running a new job on my own from the start and we see how things run from there. if i meet any problems, i have SAE to guide me.. rather than now, im like her runner. who runs her half-way done jobs, without knowing the background. well, tats about all for first week. i hope the 2nd week is better. =)

well, apart from career life. its my spiritual life. DS today was awesome. i had so much fun learning about God and knowing God. i had great times learning about my ds-mates and knowing more about them too! i cant wait for the bbq next week cos thats where we come together and share and laugh even more! amen! =) awesome!

and after service, had dinner with tuffers (ethel william junsheng) and aiping mummy! hahahaha. had fun laughing and laughing. =) it was a great time to let everything out and just relax and be loved in the His Kingdom. =) the best part was.. ICE CREAM AT MACS WITH AIPING! hahahahaha. she loves to treat me ice cream. heehee. =) amen!

Thank you Lord for this blessed week that you had set for me. I want to praise you for your strength that guides me through each day at work. I want to thank you for the constant supports i get from friends and family at the end of each blessed day. I want to thank you for the good rest i take each night. Lord, your love strength care and concern is so everlasting, so abundant. I cannot be more thankful to have this walk with you. Lord, you have not foresaken me despite the years i walked away. You truly are my God. AMEN!

Peace be with you all.

Sunday before WORK!

2010-06-20T11:14:00.002+08:00

yes, i officially start slogging tomorrow. =) or =( i dont know.

as mentioned in my previous post, the workload is heavy. but im confident that i will be able to cope and manage it well. i have trust in me and HIM. =)

yesterday's ds session and service was lovely! i cant believe how awesome it has been, but it was great! refreshing! enlightening! enriching! just, magnificent.

His love for us will never die. His love does not concentrate on one single, but one WHOLE. u, me, him, her...EVERYONE! No one will be forsaken by the Lord cos He loves us ALL.

As the week begins, i seek strength in Him. Every challenge that i face, every difficulty that i meet, every rock that i stumble upon, i see Him reaching His hands to me and holding me through.

amen!

im blessed to have such wonderful friends by me. Friends from Charis who are walking with me through this spiritual life. Friends from secondary and jc who are walking with me through my social life, who truly understand me, who truly love me, who truly care for me.

amen!

today is father's day! i havent had a proper father's day celebration since i dont know when. but this evening, ive suggested for dinner with dad and mom. just us 3. i must say tat the relationship that dad and i have has definitely improved this year. his temper has toned down and i thank God for that. Otherwise, he would have probably slaughtered me for taking up this position as an AE (just like erjie!).

anw, happy father's day, daddy!

<3

Praise to You, Lord Our God.

2010-06-19T13:20:00.002+08:00

amen amen amen! praise to you, Lord our God.

went back to office yesterday. supposed to sign the contract of employment but the HR person was yet to be found and there are some paperwork hiccups.

so instead, i went ard the office and did a self-intro to pple on the Citibank team. and also, did a handover from an intern who is leaving after 6mths. after hearing and seeing how much she has done as an intern, i felt like my internship with Ogilvy was crap. there was sooo much that i didnt cover as an intern. all i ever did was run FAs. there were simply toooooo many things on the account to be covered and handed over within 2hrs. its highly impossible. at the end of the day, i suffered from major information overload! i walked out like a zombie. i totally had no idea what did i just sign myself into. goodness gracious.

i told myself. its just 2hrs to cover half a year's worth of work. its impossible. unless i have been in this industry as long as she did. otherwise, its impossible to grasp everything in hrs. its just impossible. Citibank is just tooo big and just toooo much work. i hope come monday, i will be able to be on the ball. and within a month, i shud grab everything in control. =)

Heavenly Father Lord, may be i havent heard you loud and clear before i made this decision to be a suit with Publicis. may be i havent opened my options wide enough for you to guide me in. But Lord, i believe this decision i made will allow me to grow and mature in this working world. And Dear Father Lord, i know that each step i make, i have you to strengthen me. i have you to guide me. i have YOU WITH ME! Lord, i know you wil bless me with courage and cast all fears and worries away and allow me to be confident in things i do and allow me to learn as much as i can as each day goes by. So Lord, i want to thank you for this opportunity you placed before me. i want to thank you for allowing me to test my capabilities. i want to thank you for being WITH me and NOT forsaking me. I praise you. I worship you. I LOVE YOU.

AMEN.

off to meet aiping and amy for kopi fellowship at singpost before my Discovery Series with the 5 loaves & 2 fishes! amen!!!

Publics Groupe (Singapore)

2010-06-16T14:55:00.001+08:00

haha this is the logo of my futuer employer! fierce hor, lion leh. mai siao siao.

Your Grace

2010-06-16T11:18:00.002+08:00

In my darkest hours, You lifted me up
You gave me Strength
You gave me Grace

When i fell to the groud, You lifted me up
Once again, holding me in Your loving arms

No matter where i run to, i will always find YOU there

With Your grace, i honour You
With Your grace, i worship You
With Your grace, I LOVE YOU

Heavenly father, i give thanks to you for constantly being by my side and not forsake me after all these years of running and pushing you away. Now i realise that Lord, YOU are indeed my heavenly kind, my saviour, my God who lifts me up from my sorrows and pains, who comforts and shows me the WAY. Dear father, thank you for all the doors that uve opened for me. and Lord, i thank and praise you in your awesome name!

=))

AMEN!

Hell begins on Monday, 21 June 2010

2010-06-16T02:34:00.001+08:00

yes, on this very day. i will officially step into the workforce. many months ago, before the exams and before boston, i was all lost and confused as to which career path i should embark on.

should i go with the norm and do something banking/finance related?
or should i go with what ive tried before and am comfy doing it again? which in this case would be an internship i did as an Account Executive (or aka a SUIT) in an advertising firm. or should i do something along in line with my passion - kids? and this would be applying for early childhood education.

i was stuck at this junction. i didnt know where to go. i didnt know which path to embark on. i didnt know if i would like it if i did banking. or i would do as well as i tot i would be in advertising. i didnt know if i really want to be a kindergarten teacher!

all these kept hitting me hard in the face. i cried every now and then. and i hated growing up. i hated time to pass sooo quickly each day cos exams drew nearer and it meant i have to rapidly send resumes cos such job hunt takes abt 1-2mths.

i hated it! i really did!

and now, im starting work on monday. ive decided to strive and do my best in advertising. its an industry where the culture is flexible. yes, no doubt the workload is heavy. i have to make plenty of sacrifices. but, if i dont make sacrifices, i wont be given that opportunity to learn, grow and mature in the corporate world. which job gives u the best of both ends? if there really is one, everyone will die for it!

so, here it is. I will officially be a suit with Publicis Groupe (Singapore) on Monday. and my first client to my portfolio is Citibank Singapore.

wish me luck everyone.

and most importantly, May the Lord bless me with all His strength and grace. May HE walk with me through any challenges i face along the way in this career. amen!

=)

baby kate

2010-06-14T16:42:00.004+08:00

isnt she such a sweetheart. her name is Kate Seah. she is sooooo adorable. i love her to the max! =) june mummy, when can amanda ahyee see baby K again....heehee.

ma chiam june mummy reads this. cheyy.

all alone

2010-06-09T10:40:00.002+08:00

ive been at this for nearly a month. its time to stop procrastinating and just get my butt moving. ive been stuck at this for months. ever since months before exams.. during exams.. after exams.. during my trip.. and now. its time to move move move.

but....move to where?! i have no idea. i have no directions! i dont know where to head to! idont even know where i should start my first career!

yes, i dont mind being in advertising again, since i interned before. went for interview w publicis on monday. i dont know my chances but im praying real hard that this door remains open for me! i really hope they can call me soon. i know jobscopes and responsibilities are v v v different as compared to being an intern. but, tats the whole learning process isnt it? i want to take up that challenge and learn. i want to be that independent girl.

my confidence has went into hiding. i dont know where it is anymore. my sisters are right about me. i really dont know who i am anymore. i dont know what the future lies ahead becos i dont know where i wanna be in life. i am stuck at my major turning point. time isnt on my side, but i have no choice.

i feel useless. i feel lost. i dont want to grow up so fast. i still want to be going to school at odd hours of the day, go orchard road and shop and lam nua, sleep thru the afternoons, rush for projects... i still want to enjoy my freedom. its true that im not ready and not excited about being in the workforce, earning my own money, being independent, meeting new people...etc. im not ready.

sigh, quarter-life crisis!

POST # 1000! - IM GOING AWAY!

2010-05-08T02:47:00.001+08:00

hello everyone! haha i dont know who else is still reading but wells....

I AM GOING TO AMERICA! haha yes, im officially departing Singapore at 6:10am on 10th May 2010, Monday. Changi Airport, Terminal 1.

=)

im finally leaving everything here behind and doing this for myself. for my sister. and for my own happiness. haha ma chiam getting married. MUAHAHAHA.

well well. happy. delights. im leaving on a jetplane. =)

i will only return on 3rd June, 1:00am!

will constantly update this blog and facebook with pictures. catch me on twitter too! hahahaha. goodness.

so exciting!

praise the lord.

Post #999 - Another Post To 1000

2010-05-03T21:16:00.002+08:00

hahaha. this is the final post before i hit the 1000th post! 2 more papers left! International Monetary Econs & Intro to Futures and Options.

sigh. IME is okok only. i gave up a few topics. and focusing on the 5 that i need to do out of 7 questions. pray that the questions are similar to past years man. as i look at yr2004 and 2005 papers, they look really foreign and ancient. i have no idea what they asking. either that, or i am not studying hard enough!!!

IFO is killer paper! i have no idea what its gonna be like. im praying really hard that the Lord can pull me through these final 2 papers!

10th May 2010, 6:10am. I AM LEAVING SINGAPORE FOR BOSTON!
3rd June 2010, "i forgot the time". I AM BACK IN SINGAPORE!

4th June 2010... the final time i am signing in to RMIT to check results!!!!!!

*pray hard*

Dear Lord, you have been patient and kind. you have constantly been by my side to shower on me strength and willpower! amen! thank you Lord for being here with me through and through.

God Bless Everyone.

Post #998 - sudden urge!

2010-04-14T15:32:00.001+08:00

yes i have a sudden urge to buy a ticket up to boston once my paper ends! i need a break. i want to see ms ailine tan. i want to travel. i want to have fun before i slog for the society.

i want to! but the fares are wayy to expensive. im sure theres a way if im meant to be there!

ERJIE! WAIT FOR ME!

Post #997 - Holy Week

2010-03-31T17:23:00.002+08:00

its the holy week. as i approach good friday, i reflect upon my deeds the past yr. seek forgiveness. and ask HIM to continue to watch over me and my loved ones and friends. HE never abandons anyone. not even me, depite me walking away 6yrs back.

continue my baby steps. making that little effort day by day to strengthen my relationship with him and my faith.

day in day out, i pray for your safety wherever you are, whatever you do, whoever you meet... To: ching. shan. joce. mag. xiufeng. helen. janet. keng. kenny. bird. menghiang.mummy. dad. grandma. lucas. erjie. dajie. jiefu.

through my darkest periods, u guys have been here.

<3

Post #996 - Voice of Angels

2010-03-26T01:00:00.002+08:00

i believe many of you have seen and heard how this pair of twins have sung soo beautifully. Their greatest hit video was "Officially Missing You". and i found this song that i really loved to sing in church. and they did their rendition of it. perfect. they are blessed by god for such perfect voices to touch the hearts of viewers. =)

Post #995 - Power of Your Love

2010-03-12T02:35:00.002+08:00

Lord, i come to you
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace
That i found in You

And Lord I've come to know
The weaknesses i see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of your love

Hold me close
Let your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to your side

And as i wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
And i will soar with you
Your spirit leads me on
In the power of your love

Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see you
Face to Face
The knowledge of you love
As you live in me

Lord, renew my mind
As your Will unfolds in my life
In living every day
By the power of your love

Hold me close
Let your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to your side

And as i wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
And i will soar with you
Your spirit leads me on
In the power of your love

Heavenly Father, please watch over your sick child. Please grant her peace in her day. Please calm her anxious heart and draw her close to your side. Father, do not forsake me on this path. hold my hands and bring me to light.

Post #994 - Sensitive Poke

2010-03-11T15:44:00.002+08:00

alot of things are running through my mind now. seriously. esp when its my final semester. there's investment assignment which is such a headache. there are tests tat are dated near assignment due date. plus there is my future career search.

after 3 years, i think ive wasted my time and money. i don have a clue as to which area i wanna work in. my vacation jobs are all shit jobs. except for the internship. sigh. im in a miss. a big mess.

不时不想毕业，只是不想长大。

i feel useless in comparison to many who are level-headed, who know what they want in life, who knows their directions and goals and those who take things at their stride and handle such pressures easily.

i feel like a totally loser. every minute im afraid of affecting the feelings of people around me. im afraid of saying things or doing things that make them unhappy. esp at such stressful period, i know many people are at standing at the edge.

sigh. i really hate this. i dont want to grow up.

Post #993 Tears

2010-03-08T20:33:00.001+08:00

i dont need to say more. i just dont feel like saying. i only want to cry out loud. but, not a single sound is made. only tears that keep flowing and flowing and flowing.

i hate this feeling. i hate being alone.

Post #992 - being mean

2010-03-03T15:12:00.002+08:00

a month back, i was patient enough to hear you rant and rant and rant about whatever you are facing. and i stupidly believe that you are serious on moving on. but, i guess u fell back to where things ended.

and im disappointed. becos the of the very fact that once again, you forgot the term "friends" when then you said that things are gonna change for now.

but look, guess what happens?

all i have to say is... SERVE YOU RIGHT!

and ive really learnt that it doesnt pay to be nice. cos i aint gonna listen like before. if u wanna share, all i prolly will ever do is nod at every single thing u say and shut up comments. tats final.

ore-bit good! serve you right! 你真是活该！

Post #991 - Will You Marry Me

2010-03-03T01:20:00.003+08:00

Disclaimer: I have no responsibility or liability towards
1) any severe injuries to your lungs caused by laughing at the following lame post;
2) any severe injuries to your eyeballs or eyesocket caused by rolling of eyeballs as you read;
3) any other severe injuries that would affect your mental state...

i know its kinda ridiculous to be thinking about this right now, cos im definitely no where near that stage. to put it sadly, im not even at stage 1, whats more being at the Grand Finale - Marriage.

For those who are in a hot, long-lasting relationship, have you ever thought about how you are going to propose (for guys) or how you want to be proposed to (for girls)?

well, as for me, this is what i came up with when i was on my way home this evening from orchard. it isnt going to be one of those trips on hot-air balloons and being proposed to when we are dont know how many feet above the ground. tats cause im afraid of heights and my future-prospective-boy should know better. it also isnt going to be one of those times where i am standing at one end of a long long long shaky bridge in the forest and he on the other end trying to make his way towards me with a bouquet of flowers and proclaiming his love for me. it also isnt going to be those scuba-diving way of proposing when we are both down underwater at the seabed in Tioman Island. well, if i were to choose, TIOMAN pls.

but anyway, here's what i came up with. So, im on my way home from somewhere. my smart future-prospective-boy should be able to find out (somehow) about the route im taking to reach home. and along the way, he pops up the bus with a bouquet of flowers (ps: those who know me should know the type of flowers i adore dearly) and pops the question in front of every other passenger. of cos, he should be smart enough to check if im on that same bus or not. otherwise, throw face (shan's words).

haha. and of cos, with all the persuasions by passengers who care, i will have to say yes (with alot of embarrassment). but who gives a fuck, cos i aint seeing those passengers ever again, right? muahahahaha.

i know. this is cheesy, lame, stupid, bimbotic. whatever. i like. hmpf.

thanks to mr.champagne rose who boarded the bus today. he gave me this idea! haha.

Post #990

2010-03-02T01:37:00.003+08:00

hahaha when i hit post #1000, i will celebrate! i have had this blog since hmmm 2004? lol. cant remember. look back on the archives for those who are still reading this pathetic blog of mine which is filled with whines, complaints, and fangirlings. HAHAHA..

well anyway, OPI is the latest craze now. haha. thanks to shan, we have a favourite site now! muahah muahah!

so i just painted my nails and i did a swatch. god, issit tat my camera kinda sucks or tat the OPI is light reflective? haha. i dont know. its totally DIFFERENT. on me, it looks pink. but in pic, its purple! goodness.

anyway. its from OPI Hong Kong Collection called Lucky Lucky Lavender. as the name suggests, it should have a tinge of purple somewhere inside. but it shudnt be totally purple like in the pic. haha. goodness. but whatever, i love it!

2nd order on the way!!!

bloody internet

2010-02-28T15:38:00.003+08:00

yes, im facing internet problems. every 5-10 mins i get disconnected and i spend the next 20-30 mins trying to get back on. FUCK.

so i decided to call customer service. i feel like an idiot. firstly, i couldnt catch the indian slang of the receiver. and he speaks at speed 10/10. hello mister. slow down! i cant catch a single fuck word. secondly, i couldnt catch all the technology savvy terminologies he was using. like hello firstly i cannot catch a simple question from u like "can i have your ic no. for verification?" if i cant catch this, how the fuck can i catch all those technical chimologies!!!

thats case1.

and so an appointment was made for 2nd march. and OOPS. i realised i have lessons.
so from case1, i couldnt catch the officer's name. so i had to start from scratch. call straight from the beginning and ask if they can trace me back to the very first officer whom i spoke to since he knew my issue better.

they put me on don know how many fucking "on-holds". and put me through don know how many fucking departments and don know how many fucking customer officers. so the final "onhold" was 5mins. that blew it.

i hung up and called customer service line all over again and it went through almost immediately. repeated the fucking story again for the don know how many fucking times. and then i finally had my request done. thanks to Kai and Vicky.

well, i was transferred from this department to another department through this officer called David. and he put me onhold which lasted 5mins (the same 5mins as mentioned earlier). he managed to call me back and told me why i was onhold for that bloody long. it was becos of a Saiful Adil who didnt want to pick up my call. U FUCKING MORON! IF IT WAS REALLY YOU WHO PICKED UP MY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY FIRST CALL AND MADE THAT APPOINTMENT FOR ME (WHICH DIDNT SHOW IN MY RECORDS IN THE END), YOU ARE SOOOO FUCKING DEAD! U !@#$%^&*()*&^%$#@!#$%^&*

David asked if i wanted to lodge a complaint, i re-thought about it and realised what if Mr.fucking moron Saiful Adil wasnt the one who pick up my very first call. wont i malign the wrong person? so i just complained to David about my anger and annoyance.

i know its hard to be in customer service line. i have been in it for 1.5months. it was face-to-face some more. so i believe mine was tougher. i cant possibly run away from the customer, like how Mr.Adil decides to NOT PICK UP MY HOLD. i see the stares and rolling of eyeballs straight in my face when customers get annoyed by how slow the queue is moving or i am not efficient enough for them cos im a newbie.. but Mr.Adil doesnt. cos he can only hear my loud sigh and tsk tsks!

SO PLEASE!! DO YOUR JOB WELL! so much talk about the government's budget on increasing productivity. maybe they should target this bunch of people first.

oh, and im using SINGNET.

enough said. im damn hot now. burning! fuckers. made me miss my InkiGayo Live Stream.
double anger.

Shopping with a mouse!

2010-02-25T13:21:00.002+08:00

online shopping for OPI, Orly, China Glaze! whee! hahaa. orders have been made. payment has been made. waiting for delivery within the next 48hours or so.

hiak hiak hiak! =)

oppas are busy preparing for Seoul Persona Encore. nothing much on them other than baby and jungminnie's individual programs which i didnt watch. hur.

kinda caught up with 2pm+2am now. junsu~~ jokwon~~

cant wait for seohyun+yonghwa's wgm! wheee!

i better fangirl all i can now before i start work man. when i start work, i doubt i have time or energy for any of them. sob!

anyway, just a comment. some people are just so 忘恩负义 (i think this is correct). what can i say? 鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!鄙视你!!

鄙视你!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KYUJONG!

2010-02-24T01:52:00.001+08:00

Saengil Chuka, KYUJONG! Hwaiting!

BackToSchool

2010-02-22T00:24:00.002+08:00

*vomits* its back to school already! yes, 14 days of break - GONE, just like that! haha. CNY was great. i spent the entire of last week at my dajie's place! i wished i could stay there longer.

anw, lazy to blog about what i did from day1 to day-dont-know-what. pics are on facebook. basically, its just visiting visiting and more visiting. haha.

day3 was movie date w dajie. valentine's day @ Cathay Cine. we rushed out in the morning just to catch the 12noon movie. shopped around Ion. then, got home to prepare our STEAMBOAT DINNER! just the 2 of us! it was hilarious! we were sooooo fucking excited about it. and then, the moment we plugged in the electric steamboat.... IT DIED ON US! IT DIDNT WORK! it was totally @!#$%^&*(*&^%$#@#$%^& for us! LOL. so we decided to steamboat by the........STOVE in the kitchen! can u imagine us? standing there and dumping fishballs, beef slices, vege, corns...etc into the pot of soup and waiting for it to cook before scooping into our own bowls?!?!?! HILARIOUS RIGHT! then, we got tired. so we dumped the rest of the raw food into the pot and just boiled it at low fire and ate what we had in our bowls in the living room while watching tvee! LOL. funny episode!

day4 onwards was basically nua-ing in the house. dajie's back to work. jiefu still in spain. lucas back to school. so it was just quality time for mom and i! =)

day8. it was visiting day again! the girls and paul came over to my place first to bai-nian to mom. slacked ard then headed for shan's place! bai-nian to her mom and gambled abit there. last stop was at ching's! had dinner there cos her mummy cooked beehoon and soup. *licks* it was still early, so went off to TM to gai gai! hahahaha. supper-ed at Macs.

GOSH! i swear i put on weight for this cny! i had so much snacks and food! im gonna run my ass off this week and detox man!

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR & HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

2010-02-14T02:14:00.004+08:00

wheee~ double celebration. well for me, its still ONE. tat is LNY. how sad hor. haha *whines*

oh and its oggie's bday too. happy 5th birthday oggs! doubt u are getting wiser. naughtier maybe! hahahaha. cant wait for u and erjie to get back to sg! =)

yes! the boys are in Bangkok. after the long wait, the concert is over! and now, they have to get back to Seoul for their Encore Persona on 27th! Hwaiting! baby seems to have put on alil bit of weight. his cheeks are rounder! haha. leader seems more cui! goodness. maybe he just woke up in time for the press conference! hahaha. baby baby~~~

chubby chubs chubs. *cant beat saengie though. heehee*

happy valentine's day, oppa!

Countdown!

2010-02-12T20:42:00.002+08:00

Tml, 13th will be the day oppas perform in Bangkok! Thailand Persona! lucky for those thai fans and those rich fans who are travelling there to see them! sobsobsobs. cant wait for pics and videos~~~ heehee. Hwaiting!

Sunday, 14th will be First Day of LNY and also Valentine's Day! May all my friends have a blessed 2010! HUAT AH! and those couples, may you be blessed with lots of love! those singles, don worry! may you find love soon! haha.

so sian. so so sian. my mind is stuck with alot alot of things! i cant think properly! help~~~~~

!@#$%^&*^&%%$#!@@#$

2010-02-09T01:35:00.001+08:00

FUCKING IRRITATING

jealous? annoyed? fucked!

2010-02-04T09:50:00.002+08:00

some people are just sooo not appreciative of whatever we do for them. taking time out to hear them, talk to them, make them laugh and even cry with them whenever they are down and out. and when they're done, they just brush you away like all these never happened.

seriously, i dont know if you were ever serious in your words. you always said one thing and did another. and end up having your own reasons to twist and turn out of it and making me feel bad for being annoyed. and turns out, im the petty one?

i guess, it really aint pay to be nice! i give up. ARGH!

anw, just uploaded some pics of mom's bdae on fb. more to come when i get my hand on my bro-in-law. and my erjie is finally on bloody facebook. when facebook started, she cursed and swore never to be on it. i guess, people really do change. HAHAHA. her profile was flooded with comments from friends and ex-colleague like.."WOAH U ARE ON FB?!?!" "FINAAAAAALLLY!!" "WELCOME TO FB!!!" hahahaha. hilarious. and she has even started uploading pics of her baking skills. and even stole some of my pics.

i really miss her. the plans to go this yr in june might be cancelled. cos firstly, dajie don have the finances. and i don know if i have the time. oh well, when the travel fair comes in March, we will decide again. But whatever it is, we are seeing each other this year!

oh and did i mention tat erjie finally got a job? haha oh well, yes she did! after a year! im so proud of her. its like a promotion cos she got a post a level higher than before. and xiaoxian got a promotion tooo! hahaha. 2 directors in a house under the same company - war? HAHA. nah. cos xiaoxian always gives in. heehee. hope both of them are recovering well from the uber uber cold weather up there. and they are moving house in March. bigger and nicer! saw pics and i love it tooo! hahahahaha.

i miss you both like crazy. god bless. xoxo

happy

2010-01-31T12:20:00.002+08:00

managed to get my fat ass to ECP for morning runs the past 2 days! it was lovely. the hot sun burning on to my skin. the big big dogs running along the pavement! kids falling off their bikes or blades. families making sandcastles. awwwwwww. hahaha.

i want to get my butt back on practicing my cycling! i need to farking learn how to turn properly without crashing head-on w other bikers! HAHA.

anw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MUMMMY! she turns 61 this year. i love her to the max. i am sorry for yelling at her sometimes when im frustrated and she gets on my nerves. but, i still love her. =)

its a great january! heard a great news from my sister in boston! i cant wait! HEEHEE.

sob.

2010-01-26T19:35:00.003+08:00

i guess, they arent coming singapore already. sigh.
13th Feb - Persona Bangkok.
27th & 28th Feb - Persona Encore Seoul.

love the song.

2010-01-21T00:28:00.002+08:00

this is a cut from Ep7 of You're Beautiful (Minamishineyo). i cant explain what happened before that led to this scene. go watch it!

an afternoon with shan and ching

2010-01-20T20:03:00.003+08:00

yesterday had a great gai gai session with shan and ching. randomly trying out clothes. LOL. and camwhoring at our favourite toilet in Taka! and we found somewhere else now! hahaha. my 2 favourite pics of the day are below! heehee. yes i quite like the dress i tried from dorothy. but, its horizontally striped! sigh.

shan and i got married! haha. so random. was just trying a different parting. and we decided to snap a shot. if only we did a black and white! hahahaha.

yes. this is the dress i quite like. but its black and white. sigh. its a nono for CNY man. but it can be put to good use when i start working. *grins*

RANDOM~~

2010-01-18T22:12:00.002+08:00

haha. random random.

我的世界和回忆都是你的影子。
但是，你的视线早已没有我。

i miss my oppas! they arent having much news or activities! guess they are preparing for thailand persona and oso seoul persona encore! oppas, hwaiting!

Without A Word

2010-01-18T00:06:00.001+08:00

I shouldnt have done that,
I should have pretended not to know
like I didnt see it, like I couldnt see it
I shouldnt have looked at you in the first place

I should have run away
I should have pretended I wasnt listening
like I didnt hear it, like I couldnt hear it
I shouldnt have heard your love in the first place

Without a word, you made me know what love is
Without a word, you gave me your love
Made me fill myself with your every breath
Then you ran away

Without a word, love leaves me
Without a word, love abandons me
Wondering what to say next
My lips were surprised
It came without a word

Why does it hurt so much?
Why does it hurt continuously?
Except for the fact that I cant see you anymore, and that youre not here anymore
otherwise, itll be just the same like before

Without a word, you made me know what love is
Without a word, you gave me your love
Made me fill myself with your every breath
Then you ran away

Without a word, love leaves me
Without a word, love abandons me
Wondering what to say next
My lips were surprised

Without a word, tears starts falling down
Without a word, my heart is broken

Without a word, I waited for love
Without a word, love hurts me
Ive become transparent, Ive become a fool
and I cry just by looking at the sky

Without a word, separation finds me
Without a word, the end comes to me
It tool my heart by surprised
To send you away unexpectedly
It came without a word

Without a word, love appears
Without a word, love vanishes
Like a fever Ive had, maybe all I have to do is hurt for a while
Because in the end, the only thing that remains are scars

so near, yet so far

2010-01-16T23:39:00.002+08:00

it was just another step. but, it was missed. once that chance has gone by, it will never come by again. it's what we call, His Will.

you need to be taken care of.

delights!

2010-01-15T11:08:00.003+08:00

i screamed alot of times yesterday. they were when mag and menghiang passed me my bdae gifts. HAHA. mag bought a couple of SS items - a 2-sided file with their faces, a hp strap with baby's name and a collection of 10 postcard-sized pictures. WHEEE! menghiang dear also gave me SS stuff. it's the U R MAN SPECIAL ALBUM with POSTER!

CLAPS CLAPS CLAPS! JUMPS JUMPS JUMPS! hahahahaha! happy!

so, met menghiang dear at city hall and headed to marina sq's kenny rogers for early dinner. we chatted alot thru dinner. bloated. so decided to take a walk ard and then, headed to somerset313 for shopping! haha. got bored, and headed to fareast! its been ages since i was there! goodness. HAHA. it was oddly quiet! haha. got bored and so we headed for Esplanade for drinks at Harry's Bar! haha. chatted alot alot alot. and its been 6years of friendship (and still counting...). =)

shiok man! food. drinks. good company. and......SS501!

hahahaha. madness. love love.

in a person's life, there is always a cross junction. we will be stuck there. just take your time and cross. u will eventually reach your destination. =)

dedicated to Oppas!

2010-01-10T12:52:00.002+08:00

leader joong. prince saeng. center kyu. sexy charisma min. maknae joon.

<3 hahahahaha <3

my 22nd at ECP!

2010-01-10T00:35:00.002+08:00

haha! i wanna thank the girls for a lovely night spent at ECP. =) i had fun. bet they did too! i love my gift! hahaha. everything will be shown on pics. so, enjoy

Birthday Gift From Boston!

2010-01-09T01:20:00.005+08:00

haha. this is done by my sister who is in boston. yes. its a birthday gift. i miss her. i miss oggie. i miss them so much. their voices. laughters. =) hugs.

and here they are.

Saengil Chuka To Me!

2010-01-08T01:14:00.001+08:00

hahaha. must thank all those who wished me happy birthday! appreciated that u all still remembered. for those who haven wished me, neh mind cos u stil have another 10hours or so. HAHAHAHA!

bitch.

anyway. im 22 already. i cant believe. 22! its time to grow up.

xoxo.

saengil chuka!

hair hair hair

2010-01-07T13:10:00.001+08:00

i chopped my ends away. i took so long to keep my hair beyond my boobs. and now its way above. my bangs. don mention about them. they are way short. but, better than the horrible experience i had at ang mo kio. hahahaha.

they will grow. =)

gonna meet shan later. she's helping me dye my hair. bought Hoyu Beauteen hair dye. Chiffon Pink. i don know what it will turn out to be cos there wasnt any display at stores. anyway, they arent accurate too. haha.

cross my fingers and pray they turn out nice. or rather, pray tat my uber uber black hair will "eat" the dye. haha.

xoxo.

again, i woke up missing you.

the week before school.

2010-01-05T12:22:00.002+08:00

so yesterday was one-man shopping. bought a couple of daily stuff. =) met mom and the aunts at somerset313 again. i swear, its their new hangout. well, it can get packed but the foodplace is really spacious and cosy. haha. =) received a few other gifts. den off we head to dajie's place to pick lucas up from sch and have dinner. den its home sweet home.

today! gonna meet two ladies. xiufeng. shan. we're off for haircut at toapayoh! haha. i know right. all the way there just to cut hair. worst still, we're trimming bangs only! HAHA. well, i kinda like the hairdresser. cos she is fast and she knows what we want. hate those who are pushy sort. and worst are those who happily trim trim trim and end up with short bangs! hell to that.

wednesday shall stay home and clean up the house abit. mop around. pack my room. =)
aint i a good girl. *roll eyeballs*

thursday, gonna dye my hair. with the help of shan. =) teehee.

friday. what else can i do on this day? HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 22! god. lunch with mommy dearest. she's gonna cook me mianxian and red eggs. for the first time ever in my 22 years! i know right, its not like its 21st. LOL. well, we missed that. so i shall have it on 22nd. heehee. mom's the best. and then dinner is at dajie's. ahfat jiefu ordered a cake already. wonder what it is. and don know if he is gona whip up my favourite dishes or we're gonna do take aways. heehee. whatever it is, im grateful. well, i just wish tat erjie was here. sigh.

sat, THE GIRLS!! =) nothing planned up yet. gotta wait for ching to return from malaysia! have a safe trip sweets!

<3 i woke up missing you.

4 to 22nd.

2010-01-04T00:45:00.003+08:00

yes i am counting down to the day i turn 22. time really flies. received a few angpaos alr. heehee. my aunts dote on me quite a bit. am touched.

the weekends past just like tat. everyone was counting down to 2010. and now, its alr the 4th day. fast aye. so..

1 jan 2010. dinner with ching and shan. pasta mania. i had my hawaiian pizza. yums. =) shopped ard abit. laughed. chit chat. gossiped. just miss all these. wished we had more time for hangouts. =)

weekends was pretty much lazing around the house. growing horizontally. haha.
once sch starts, im back to my workout routine! heehee. i must lose more weight before CNY! which means, i have about a month!

aza aza hwaiting!

i am afraid of falling back into the past again.

2010!

2010-01-01T16:16:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 2010 humans who actually still read my blog.

yes. fast isnt it? it felt like i just celebrated my 21st. but NO! im actually counting down to my 22nd! fuck shit.

haha. i can still remember what the hell i was doing on 1st Jan 2009. i was preparing for my 21st party at Downtown East chalet. celebrated it on the 3rd and those dear to me were present with presents. haha. so touched.

the year flew bye just like tat. i am already in my final yr final semester. soon, i will be slogging my ass off at a 9 to 6 deskbound job. (my first resolution, get a good job). i've had a rough 2009. i always pre-empted myself tat 2010 wont be any better. so if it does get bad, i am fully geared up for it. but if it turns good, then praise the Lord.

2009. let's see. i lost a sister. she left for boston on 13 Feb 2009. i never got to see her for the next 10months. and i really do miss her. like fuck shit. and i didnt get a job tat lasted for 2 months to save up enough to go over in June to see her. DAMN DAMN DAMN.

i've cleared up some drama in my life. so glad its over. cant take anymore of those nonsense. pardon me. im getting old. not enough energy. so hell to that.

its a brand new year. brand new discoveries with friends family...etc.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2009-12-26T09:01:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS! a whole weekend filled with dinners and lunches. damn. i am growing fat! hahaha.

christmas eve. it was halfday at work till 2pm. damn hectic. those stupid companies just love to delay and drag and give all sorts of excuses. KNS. well, enough of tat. and it was lunch date with shan and ching. Sushi Tei @ Raffles City. yums. shopped around for shoes, bags, shoes, bags........................hahahahahaha. it was a "Shoes & Bags" day. LOL.

den christmas eve dinner was at dajie's! Chef Fang (my brother-in-law) cooked dinner. he roasted chicken. made pasta. boiled pumpkin soup. prepared salad. cut fruits. it was yummmy~ i must say tat dajie is lucky to have ah-fat (his nickname) who can cook so damn blardy well. haha. we always joke tat if he were to retire, he can open restaurant. HAHAHA. we are not kidding.

the clock struck 12! MERRY CHRISTMAS! but, i was dead beat. so i slept thru. Friday Morning was Mass Service with mummy. i am guilty of attending Mass only 3x a yr. so i made sure i was sincere for this service. sat down and really prayed.

christmas lunch was at cousin wendy's! took a bus after church to pasir ris. after tat, HOME SWEET HOME. Lucas stayed over my place for christmas! first christmas with us! heeeeee.

well. today's Boxing Day. gonna have dinner at Aunt Mary's place at Kew Lane tonight.

another dinner. goodness gracious.

Hereby wish everyone MERRY CHRISTMAS! may this festive season bless you with bundles of Joy, Love & Luck! (and also grow fat with all the food....)

hahahahaha. 2010 is coming. new year. new resolutions. NEW ME!

=)

jambu~

OH. MERRY CHRISTMAS OPPAS! (hyungjoon baby mentioned he wants to come singapore. pls dooooooooooooooooooooooo.)

rants.

2009-12-23T22:33:00.002+08:00

let's see. christmas is like in 2 days. hmmmm. what have i bought? oh.

a thomas and friends train set for lucas dear. HAHA. tats all! yes, now tat i have a nephew. the entire attention just goes to him. i shopped at toys 'r' us today during lunch to get him this gift. hope he likes it. =)

i loved christmas when i was a kid. all the barbies and pretty dresses. awwww.

but now. yucks. i hate it. its just another ordinary day. yes, its the birth of christ - the saviour of the world.

but how much does this really mean to me? hmmmmm. i am guilty.

it's a season of sharing and love. it's a season of forgiveness. it's a season to be jolly. but i'm sorry. none of this is happening on me. neh neh.

oh well. tml's another day at work. till 2pm. after which, its lunch date with shan and ching. then dinner celeb at dajie's. =)

it's gonna be my last day of work soon. just when i begin to feel the fun, laughters and joy in CarPark Office.... i'm leaving. sob. they are such funny bunch. haha.

jambu~~

K-POPPED

2009-12-22T00:28:00.007+08:00

haha i don know if i mentioned this earlier. i went to Seoul'D Out. and i just came back from LeeMinHo Fanmeeting at Max Pavilion. heeeheee..

more pics will be on facebook once that application is fixed. tat damn activeX thingy

Congrats Oppas!

2009-12-16T02:44:00.002+08:00

wow wow wow! i've missed out so much about the boys ever since i started work. i cant surf the net and when i get home im half dead to the world. 5555~~

so. they just ended their Asia Tour Persona - Hong Kong. and they attended the Yahoo Asia Buzz Award Ceremony. AND... they won Asia Best Group Award and our dear leader Kim Hyun Joong won Asia Best Male Star Award!!

CLAPS CLAPS CLAPS! POPS POPS POPS! SCREAMS SCREAMS SCREAMS!

hahahahahaha. it has been a great year for them. release of 2 mini albums. Asia tour concert. k-chart wins. inkigayo mutizen wins. etc etc.

FIGHTING! =)

anyway. today was a long day. supposed to lunch with shan. but at 9plus, boss said wanna take us out to lunch. so i had to tag along and cant meet shan. 5555~

den it was dinner with the gang. FULL STRENGTH FOR ONCE!! CLAPS CLAPS!

kel. keng. kenny. helen. janet. xiufeng. me! =)

dinner at goldenmile steamboat place. wonderful. =) finished at 8. it was early. so we headed to janet's place for mahjong!! haha. played until 130am and kor drove us home. =)

now im wide awake. and its 3am! i have to get ready for work at 7am! goodness gracious me.

i have long forgotten that itchy itchy feeling.

great weekend!

2009-12-13T22:53:00.002+08:00

wow! my weekend was a blast! KPOP SUNDOWN FESTIVAL SEOUL'D OUT at fort canning park yday! with shan, xiufeng and janice (xiufeng sister). heehee. we waited for like 2hrs+++ to get in! becos the ushers SUCKED! they only had like 2 or 3 persons standing there to tear ticket and tag wristbands at like snail-like speed. it was bad man! they should have hired an ushering company that can do wayyyyyy better.

just thought of the days i ushered for F1 Rocks and other big events. if we were doing at the speed of those who ushered last night, we would have been chopped into pieces! totally sucked.

well. we had fun. bought a plastic sheet tat was big enough for us. laid down the mat. sat comfortably. and ate lots of sausages! hahaha.

FT ISLAND. TMAX. BROWN EYED GIRLS. <3

tats about it. we had fun!

today. day out with menghiang. Orchard. it was a big mistake to be there on a Sunday. totally packed! chit chit chat chat and gai gai! heehee.so fun. gossip gossip gossip. =)

tml's back to work. yawns.

another short getaway

2009-12-05T20:25:00.002+08:00

haha yes. im enjoying my weekends with my dajie and lucas. jiefu is on business trip in HongKong. so i stayed for the weekends! shiok-a-doo.

woke up early and headed to vivo city to gai gai. haha lunched at sushi tei. and continued to shop. HAHA.

it was lucas's virgin bus ride today! so exciting! haha. so cutes! cant stand him! heehee. every aunty was so amused by him.

while they were amused by him, i was amused by something else i saw during the bus ride. HAHA. let me ask.. a skin specialist is called a Dermatologist rite?

guess what i saw... some skin clinic actually named themselves...

Skin Tologist!!!

HAHAHA FUCKING FUNNY! my sis and i burst into laughters! goodness gracious.

so what. a bone specialist is called Bone-paedic? since the actual term is Orthopaedic! hahaha.

what bout Dentist? Teeth-tist? Repeat it 10x at fast speed and it will sound like tit tits!

HAHAHA. goodness.

back home at 5pm. and dajie cooked dinner. yumyums!

happy! i love my weekends.

and tml...its another dinner celebration with shan ching and joce! to celeb our dear baby sister's 21st birthday!

baby baby~~~

2009-12-03T23:02:00.000+08:00

baby~

claps!

2009-12-01T19:48:00.002+08:00

yeah. i found a job. after a month of slacking, i finally found a job for the whole of dec. they can extend me till 8jan if they wan. HAHA.

hmmm 8jan. a familiar date! HAHAHAHA.

5555~~well. the whole process of getting this temp job was rather leh chey. an interview with 3 people (how odd rite. its just a temp!). and i need to get passport photos (for what sia? workers pass? a month?) god.

HAHA. haven start working and i must spend $$.

oh well. better than no job. heehee.

3rd Dec. results day. sian. panic

it has been awhile since i posted baby's pics. how sad. mian~
the boys have performed their GoodBye Stages on Music Bank and Inkigayo. how sad!

next up would be HongKong Persona on 12 Dec! kekeke

just wondering. if there werent HongKong Persona, do you think they will come SG for Seoul'D Out at Fort Canning on the 12th?

HEEEHEEEEHEEEE

joon~~

good monday

2009-11-30T10:16:00.003+08:00

i used to hate monday cos of the blues i get. but today was a goooood monday for me!
early in the morning, agent called me about a job. surveyor job. but i rejected. cos it required a lot of running around. even though the job is flexible cos its own time own target. but, nah. it really requires me to run left and right of singapore to get hold of my contacts to be interviewed. and who knows. i might end up spending my pay on travel fees.

so, i was abt to go back to bed. cos the weather is just sooooooo good to fall back into deep sleep.

who knows. another call came. the agent whom shan and i regarded as unprofessional actually called to inform me of a job opening! HAHA. well, its true that she was unprofessional. we emailed her our resumes and she didnt even call or reply back saying she has received it. and when shan emailed her again like after 2 weeks to ask if she has received it and if she has any job openings, she oso didnt reply!

!#$%^&*()*&^%$#@!#$%^&*(*&^%$#@!#$%^&*

until shan has found a job. and i decided to call this agent. and then, she told me. YA SHE HAS RECEIVED IT! niao her! well. she found me a job. still need to go thru interview.

hopefully i get it.

=)

had the best dream last night too. was with dajie and erjie. the setting was like at some beach. ma chiam The Hills. HAHA. think i OD on it. i really hope to see her in june. i wasted a month of being jobless. i have to think of other ways to get to her! wait for me!

another night

2009-11-27T01:52:00.002+08:00

i'm at dajie's place this weekend. and i regretted not bringing swolly along. now i miss him.

i think i've drowned him with alot of tears. haha.

poor smelly dog. but i still love you swolly. though i have new additions to the toy collection. but u have been my oldest toy and the most faithful one to me.

well. guess its true when they say Dogs are Man's loyal friends.

HAHA. swolly is my best pal. =) hope he is feeling fine at home. it must be cold and quiet and lonely.

oh baby, im coming home soon.

H1N1~~

2009-11-26T22:33:00.002+08:00

omo man. more and more celebs are down with H1N1! luckily it didnt spread within the boys. though saengie accompanied leader in Japan, but phew. he is clear. and so are the other 3 dongsaengs!

unlike shinee. poor them. first it was jonghyun. den onew. and now taemin.
seem likes girls in f(x) are also down with it. and korea's mr bean - Kim Joon is also down with it. oh no.

5555~~~

hope everyone is safe and sound.

baby baby~~

just another sleepless night.

2009-11-25T22:03:00.004+08:00

my mind was slowly occupied by one issue and another and another and another. and soon, i found myself stuck in a sucky mood and i couldnt stop.

it was so quiet. just me and grandma. i just wanted to fall into deep sleep. but i couldnt. sat at the balcony with swolly. swolly seems to be the only THING that can hear me rant about everything that is happening to me. but sadly, he doesnt speak. all he, or rather IT, can ever do is give me warmth and comfort when i cuddle it tight.

and we spent hours at the balcony. until i dozed off on the chair. when i shocked myself up, it was already 5am. and i crawled back to my room. and i couldnt sleep.

damn. i wondered how long was i actually sleeping at the balcony.

well. tat was about it. im sorry. just very emotional. there arent any interesting posts about the boys. well, there were la. just don feel like mixing them with my sucky emotions.

i miss you.

2009-11-25T01:23:00.001+08:00

drowned in tears.

@!#$%^&()&^%$#@!

2009-11-24T11:56:00.002+08:00

no offence. the post is titled like that cos i have no idea what it should be.

going back to school later at 3pm for another chit chat session. keeping my fingers crossed. hope that its something good.

sick and tired of this shit. some people just cannot take responsibilities. fucking idiots. ARGH!

i feel so cooped up here. i wanna go out, yet i have to worry for leaving her alone here. why cant the fuck she just go over and stay for the week when dad's not here. wont it make ALL OUR LIVES MUCH EASIER?! and when i do go out, i have to rush home by 8pm? FUCK YOU MAN! even my mother doesnt restrict what time i come home. so why should you?! tell your own son to come home at 8pm to look after his grandmother la. i wonder what brilliant excuses he will give just to run. so if he can, WHY CANT I?! damn fucking annoyed this holidays.

i hate it. i really want to work. becos of money and becos i don have to be here 24hrs ard HER!

argh!!!!!!

results going to be out soon. sigh. i wonder how i will fare.

it seems like i dont know you anymore. i cant talk to you like before. im afraid of hurting you with comments i make. yet, i wanna know whats going on with you. your whole life seems to have changed. well. i guess, we all do change.

what the fuck am i talking about.

yawns

2009-11-21T13:23:00.002+08:00

boring weekend ahead. i hope my stupid agent calls me ASAP man. i really want to get my ass out and work! i hate being poor. i hate lazing around the house like a bum.

argh!

but, if i do start work. i have to give up 9hrs of fangirl-ing! hahahaha!

going for dinner later at Paragon's Sushi Tei. celebrating Mr Keng's 24th Bird-day! old uncle. HAHA.

OH AND YES YES YES! IM GOING TO GET BETTER INTERNET CONNECTION! we're going to cancel our internet plans with starhub and jump over to singtel...

wheeeeeeeeeeeeee. i can watch youtube without needing to wait for an hour till it finish buffering! HAHAHA.

but, im still keep my cablebox with starhub. i don wanna lose my life.

10,813 !!! WE WON!!! WE WON!!!

2009-11-21T01:36:00.003+08:00

WHOOOOOOPEEEEEDOOOOODEEEEEDOOOOO! WE WON AGAIN! 2nd time in Music Bank! and we were up against 2pm! omg la. thought they might win becos of album sales...

BUT........................

SORRY HOTTESTS! hahahaha. here are some pics of baby after winning~~~

baby~~WOOHOO! YES YES! hahaha.

kimhyungjun~~

RAIN RAIN RAIN!

2009-11-19T13:17:00.002+08:00

rain rain go away! i hate the rain! i hate the cold weather! cant even go parkway. cant go for my swim. cant go for my run. argh!

annoyed.

hate battling the rain with an umbrella!

anyway, the letter has arrived. and i cried at the letterbox while i opened it. sigh. big disappointment. yes, it failed. i wasnt granted! sigh.

heehee

2009-11-18T00:21:00.003+08:00

well, i did mention i did a little shopping during the past few months rite. so here are my fangirl purchases! HAHAHA.

this is their mini album - Rebirth. heehee.

and this is their U R MAN SPECIAL ALBUM! <3

more to come~~

FanGirl-ing....

2009-11-17T11:14:00.002+08:00

well, the netizens have nothing better to do. so they decided to dig up past photos of the boys and start making comments and stirring a news, making people question "Have the boys been under the knife too?"...

OBVIOUSLY NOT, MORONS! go dig other people and leave them alone! hmpf!

well, the news wasnt making very negative or hurting remarks. but, you know. netizens always got nothing better to do. they love to make something small grow and erupt! damn them.

here's a kyute pic of kyujong which shan and i missed before. how could we. tsk tsk. but, i found it eventually. heehee.

something to keep the smiles going

2009-11-16T18:59:00.007+08:00

good news. shan and i received a call from Success. job opening. for a month (better than nothing). hoping that the Bank that is hiring will shortlist both of us. we can lunch and gossip together in the same dept!! HAHA.

some pics to keep the smiles going. a collage of pics from star golden bell. poor baby. kana bullied inside. okay. recently he has been bullied quite frequently when they attend shows. haha. cos of comments he made previously. poor maknae~~~

and below are some shots of him at Shanghai Persona. =) they are back in Seoul. those china fangirls are crazy to the max. poor boys. bet they had a shock at the chaos in Pudong Airport.

aigooooo~ so cutes! <3>

Taylor Swift - Breathe

2009-11-16T09:53:00.002+08:00

I see your face in my mind as I drive away,
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.
People are people,
And sometimes we change our minds.
But its killing me to see you go after all this time.

Mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm

Music starts playin like the end of a sad movie,
Its the kinda ending you dont really wanna see.
Cause its tragedy and itll only bring you down,

Now I dont know what to be without you around.
And we know its never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break,
no one here to save me.
Youre the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I cant,Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.
But people are people,
And sometimes it doesnt work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.

And we know its never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
Youre the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I cant,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.

Its two a.m.
Feelin' like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know its not easy,
Easy for me.
Its two a.m.
Feelin like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know this aint easy,
Easy for me.

And we know its never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break,
no one here to save me.
Ohhh
I cant,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.

Sorry (oh) Sorry (mmm)
Sorry (eh eh) Sorry (mmm)
Sorry (eh eh) Sorry (mmm)

Sorry

another nice song by taylor swift. =)

up and about early in the morning. couldnt sleep. and got woken up by the loud voices of granny and my aunt and dad grumbling about everything under this house. seriously, my aunt should stop poking her big damn ass into my family's business. if she was so fucking great, tell her brother that he's the cause of everything. he's the cause of why everyone is leaving this house and throwing his mother to him (which obviously he doesnt want responsibility in). they keep ranting and ranting about us being selfish. about us thinking for ourselves, that when we go out of this house and abandon the old lady alone, we are not caring for her. we are throwing her to defend and look after herself.

so what. am i to stay home 24hrs to look after her? what if i found a job? what about days i have school? this is ridiculous. it wasnt as if there arent other options. didnt we decided to put her at the other aunt's place during weekdays? just becos the old lady is a worried-freak, we cancel out that option? and that aunt over that has the easiest days of her life of not putting in the slightest efforts in looking after?

you people are tired? you people complaint you are very very very very extremely busy and stressed. COME ON! you don even see your mother for what 4x a year? you dont even know what the fuck her medications are for or when should they be given till a month ago! and you are telling me, YOU ARE TIRED!

you guys are complaining that we are selfish. we are doing things that we like. think about it. all these years, who was the selfish one? who was the mean one? who said nasty stuff about her grandchildren? who said nasty stuff about her daughter-in-law? who sided her own favourite son when he did wrong?

i guess. this sums up to what we call. RETRIBUTION!

i dont want to be mean. i want to be patient and start caring for her. but the people around me are making me detest everything here.

FUCK YOU.

everything was so peaceful and quiet when i was alone. why cant everything just return back to how it was. stop making everyone's lives so fucked up becos you are worried about the slightest things.

ARGH!

title-less

2009-11-15T18:36:00.002+08:00

the weekends are over just like that. they didnt speak a single word. sigh. how did things turn out to be like that? its bad, isnt it? i should have gotten used to it. but, this time. i couldnt.

and it sucks.

so much stuff running through my mind now. results. scholarship. school fees. tuition. part time job....................sigh

i'm not even in the mood to watch the boys now. i just wanna rot on my bed and fall into deep deep deep sleep.

wake me up when all these shit ends.

What's For Today?

2009-11-14T10:36:00.002+08:00

up and about so early. my body clock is seriously WRONG. it is in need of some fixing!

So. here's what i have planned for the day.

gonna meet guoxian later for coffee at 11pm. den off i am to meet my san jie, jamie tang at amk. we're going to see june and baby kate!! =) =) =)

dinner will be at Mirama Hotel. Gonna celeb my uncle's 60th birthday!

WOW! alot of running about. left and right! =)

i cant wait to see jamie tang! i miss her so much!

WE WON!! WE WON!! WE WON!!!!!

2009-11-14T00:07:00.003+08:00

heehee. baby so pretty. cant stand it! 小混混，dont fall sick!!!!!!!!

hahahahahaha! YESSSSSSSSSSS! we won music bank today! 11,054 points! a pity that the boys are in Shanghai. So, they cant go on stage to do comeback and receive the award personally.

but, IT IS OKAY!! at least they had a phone call made and did a 'thank you" speech! heehee!

FIGHTING!!!

and so, let me update a bit on today. went to leisure park to catch 2012 with shan. the effects and sounds were good. storyline was just like any other dooms day movie. but this was extremely emotional and....creepy?

well, before the movie came out. i believe everyone read about the 2012 thingy on the news. and that IT MIGHT REALLY happen. so for me, after reading the news, i have the creeps. i hate death and byebyes. and after watching the movie, it just made me feel worse.

is this what its going to be like? will you have the final chance to say your last goodbyes? your last "I am SORRY"? your last "I LOVE YOU"?

i stoned abit after the movie. was still recovering from the effects of the entire earth cracking up and burying millions and billions of people. and of cos, recovering from the tears i shed during super touching moments.

to pre-empt yourself of what might really happen in 2012. go catch the movie.

사랑해요

2009-11-13T10:22:00.003+08:00

the boys at Persona - Shanghai Press Conference. =)

baby baby at Press Conference. heehee. 사랑해요

shiok-a-doos

2009-11-12T20:50:00.004+08:00

finally got my fat ass back to jogging. shioks man. just ran and ran and ran.

been home the past few days. peace and quiet. do anything i want. sleep anytime i want. go parkway anytime i want. shiok.

haha. but i miss mummy. so im going over to dajie's place tml evening after movie-ing with shannie! =)

sarangahae. the boys have safely arrived at Shanghai. =)

some pics below from rehearsals and behind the stage of star golden bell.

so sweets. all 5 of them took pics with this small kid. but of cos, i only post baby's. hahaha.

what am i to do?

2009-11-12T12:49:00.002+08:00

To chop, or not to chop?

To rebond, or not to rebond?

To dye, or not to dye?

DAMN IT!

hahaha. yes, im thinking of a new hairdo. i wanna make it short like maybe somewhere above the bra cup. but, when i see youtube videos on makeup and hair tutorials. those long smooth hair make me think twice about cutting.

but, when i see the amount of hair that falls off during my shower. and the knots and tangles. damn, they sure make me wanna chop it short!

SIGH. stuck.

anyway, the boys are off the China. Shanghai Persona! FIGHTING!

when will it be Singapore? Please do come. =)

小混混, FIGHTING!

小混混

2009-11-11T19:53:00.002+08:00

heehee. i love my 小混混. heehee. taken at recording of Open Concert! AND. I LOVE KBS WORLD. those who have Cable Tv. KBS WORLD ROCKS! haha. i caught a show of them. and i hope there are many many more.... heehee. star golden bell. dream team. music bank. champagne. happy dooo deeee doooo. my 小混混!!!!

happy!

2009-11-10T23:48:00.004+08:00

met up with xiufeng and kenny for dinner at Central. Korean food at Seoul Yummy. perfect. great food. great music (cos SS501 was singing when we were eating. okay, along with a few others like super junior, shinee, 2pm, wondergirls....) hahaha. and cute waiter too! kekeke.

shall take the girls there one day! =) delicious...

heeeee. someone using the same phone as me!!! hehehehehehehehehe.

hahaha. smile until so happy. heehee. baby joonie~ <3
i am a very happy girl today. finally got hold of the pictorial books. made payment for the 5year 5men dvd! i shall upload pics of my fangirl shopping! HAHAHAHAHA.

panic attack.

2009-11-10T01:46:00.002+08:00

god. its near to 2am now. and im supposed to be in bed. nicely tucked in. and dreaming away. i have an interview at 9am! and i have to be in school by 830! god. help me. save me. sedate me! and its an interview! i hate interviews. i always feel like peeing into my pants. and i always have this "laughing" attack.

before any interview, i always feel like i was injected with laughing gas. i always feel like giggling here and there. damn man.

dont know good or bad.
good tat im not having this yaya face thru the interview.
bad tat they think IM AM SIAO!

hahaa.

alrights. wish me luck. first round of interview! fighting!

hyungjoonie~~~~love this baby.

annyong~

exams are over. short stay at dajies. big bump on my ankle and elbow

2009-11-09T10:27:00.002+08:00

exams are over! wheee. but, im jobless. and my agent is fucking inefficient.

saturday evening was a date with ching and shan. after papers, shan and i went town to meet ching. had dinner at taka's mos. chit chit chat chat laugh laugh gossip gossip. walked around abit to get stuff. and then, desserts at The Big O (i think this is what it is). cant remember correctly. their mudpies, cakes and ice creams are just heavenly! HAHA. den home sweet home. ching ching, study hard sweets! shan shan, enjoy your hols! HAHAHAHA.

stayed over at dajie's place. sunday morning was shiok. early breakfast and went ard to different warehouses to get cheapo stuff! HAHA. and yes. i fell into a DRAIN! not those big ones. it's those semi-circle ones along the roads where kittens and cats love to hide.

yes. my entire right foot went in. so here's the story. my jiefu parked along the road. we went out for breakfast. heading back to the car. i was chatting with him about nyc and boston. he went to the front seat and i went to the back. open the car door. stretch left foot onto pavement. the right foot was somewhere right inside the drain with leaves and water. gross. totally gross.

it all happened tooo quickly. i wasnt even sure where my foot were actually. HAHA. shan asked me "isnt the drain abit small for your foot to go right in?"

exactly! its small. and my giant foot went right in! can u imagine how my ankle got scrapped along the cement?!?! so yeah. it did. luckily not badly. just minor scratches and aloe vera can heal it quick. the biggest bump was actually on my elbow! HAHA. funny right. the part that was furthest from the drain had the worst injury. HAHA. i hit it against the car. and i think there's a dent in the car. cos my elbow FUCKING HURTS! there was a big bump like some bone sticking out. IT IS @!$#%^&*()&^%$#@#$%^&*(&^%$# PAINFUL! hahaha.

lucas had a shock tat his ah-yi went into the drain. he went "oh oh. amanda ah yi fall down". hahaha. fucking cutes.

=)

so thats my post-exams weekends celebration. later i'll be going out with mummy. heehee

LAST LAST LAST! THE LAST FEW HOURS!

2009-11-07T03:33:00.002+08:00

hello baby joon! taken while the boys went on Suju's Sukira on 6th Nov. they look soooo tired. hope none of them are sick man! fighting!

hahahahaha WHOOOOOOOPEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

its the last few hours to the final paper of this semester. im fucking drained i swear. even though there was sufficient time to study and do everything.

but, blame it on my own ill-disciplined self! i was tooooooooo distracted with baby and his hyungs! HAHAHAHA.

oh well. what to do. WAIT FOR RESULTS LA!

dont care already lah! tml onwards i wanna work. go out. save money. spend necessary money.

AND HAVE FUN!

HAHAHA.

nights.

oppas, hwaiting!

hyungjoonie~~~~<3

=)

2009-11-06T17:52:00.002+08:00

YEA YEA YEA. they are up against Shinee! FIGHTING!

so fast!

2009-11-06T12:35:00.002+08:00

haha. time really flies man. 3 weeks back, the mugging period just started for shan and i and those in same course as us. NOW, we are like 24 hrs away from our final paper for the year! very fast hor!

and 3 weeks ago, dajie and jiefu left for boston. and now, they are coming back already! tonight, midnight! HAHA! so so so fast! they bought me a couple of clothings and a coach hp strap! but hors, i think i forgot to tell her...my blackberry now... CANNOT HANG ANYTHING ANYWHERE! hahaha. fucking funny. bet she will strap my neck and eyeballs together! but, i did tell her i wanted a wallet. who ask her kuku neh neh buy hp strap. and i always say... its the most BO HWA branded thing to buy la! i rather a keychain lor! hahaha. oh well. at least she bought me something! haha. oh oh oh. and all my OPI nailpolish. and and and.. MAC shadestick! hahahaha. i ma chiam go on shopping spree right. heehee. but, all these hors.... ARE FREE LEH. hahahahahaha. neh neh ni bu bu. envious right! hahaha. oh oh oh! and not forgetting!! MY WHITE CHOCOLATE MACADEMIA COOKIES!! hahahahahaha.

yums. now i really cant wait for price theory to be done and out with. =)

omg. u know something. i fucking sound like an ah-lian above la! haha. must be the influence of those fangirls on forums. ^_^

HAHAHAHAHA.

/^-^\ haha. wonder what the hell is this. looks like a dog with / \ as ears. or a girl with / \ as hair! go figure.

muacks.

joonie~~don be disheartened! i believe you and your hyungs will win inkigayo! Love Like This.

One More To Go.

2009-11-06T02:31:00.001+08:00

no. the title of the blog isnt a song. HAHA. i only have ONE paper left for this sem and i am so done with exams.

hmmm. the past 3 papers. lets see. macro, i din finish. risk mgmt, it sucked. business finance, it came as a shock. i think what many of us are praying for now is...MODERATION.

haha. i just wanna get price theory over and done with.

i have some pics of baby and kyu. but lazy to upload. hahahaha! too bad den.

*bobo*

Saengie, saengil chuka hamnida!

2009-11-04T20:58:00.002+08:00

aigoo.. these are pics taken during the stamping session and also to celeb saengie's bdae! aigoo~ doesnt he look super cute here! HAHA. i bet ching hates this pic of saengie.

counting down.

2009-11-04T19:11:00.002+08:00

counting down to my next paper. im very exhausted. losing concentration and getting distracted easily!

DIE LAA! haha. im already planning what to buy and what to eat on saturday! what to do on sunday? tues, where to go?

HAHAHA.

GOOD LUCK! ALL THE BEST!! FIGHTING!

oh, dont know issit good or bad. hyunjoongie-leader has a new assignment. a role in a movie! means, more work and busier schedules! pls dont become weak like how u did for BOF! haha.