another day has passed... really tired today... simply not in the mood to do anything....
juz lazed around the house... watched some vcd.. coyote ugly and runaway bride... den dozed off.. got up... went online... chat a bit with friends... den had dinner.... MAN.. is this boring or wad....ARGH!!


well.. tml is another brand new day.. i hope i have the strength to do anything......

cya in band guys.... (tpjcband)

for pple in cchyband.. seeya on thurs.. finally...since SYF.. i haven seen u guys.. miss ya alot...esp clar sect...

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the nite has come... it's so different when i am at marine parade (my own home) and straphmore avenue (dajie's home)...i really duno why...mayb it's the pple in the house tat determines how my mood....haiz... been slacking... went out to meet zijun today... we did a bit of shopping at parkway... den near 6.....we went home..... back home.. i dozed off for a while.... woke up with a terrible headache....argh.....


now... i am surfing the net... been thinking a lot lately... haiz...

i really dunno wad YOU are thinking.... i dun have a single clue...... I am getting so tired.......
LORD..i need the strength... i need it badly.... i dun wan to fall and bruise myself again.... the wound inside me is getting bigger...LORD...heal it...pls.....

[ this hols will really determine... like wad mag told me.... it will be the same for me...as time pass... it begins to fade away.... but will it be erased completely?? i really wish it could... after so long.. i tot i could stay away from such matter... but it has come to haunt me once again....... why??? is it part and parcel of life??? i really dun wan it.... i dun wan........ if it is going to hurt... i rather not have it........ i dun wan the challenge.. i dun wan the pain..... i dun wan to cry........ ]

[ besides this.. to tat very SOMEONE: i doubt u will come across my blog... i wished u nv entered my life... i really wish u din... dun make empty promises....... i HATE PPLE WHU LIE!!!!!!!! tat's all.... enuff said.... ]

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er...ok..tat's me.... with tat super big drink...so...how many drinks did we order??? hmmmmmmmmmm..... 

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tat's us...taken on the way back... simply love her!! 

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tat's dajie!! with 2 large ice tea...yes can see she is super thirsty...WUAHAHAHAHA... :P 

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WeE~~~~~

hey guys!! haha...haven been online for quite some time..becoz i was enjoying my time at my sis's place during this weekend!! hahaha...

fri, met dajie at bugis... band ended rather early.. we only had band pract for an hour becoz most of them including dr lee went for movies.. they watched start wars episode 3... after they left, kiong wee, grace, siti and i were left in the bandroom....then an alumni came.. his name is edwin...haha.. kw grace edwin and i were sitting and talking....nice chat!! muz have more of such stuff... bondinG!! hahahaa... den it was 5..so i hurried off... we left the sch... grace and i took 12... i sat all the way to bugis... gosh.. i fell asleep... typical of me...hahaha.. luckily dearest sis sms-ed me...if not... i really dunno where i would have landed...hahahha.... we shopped a bit..had dinner at pasta-mania... den we left for "chapter 2"... sis had her hair done... oh no man... it took her almost an hour plus...hahhaa.. she was kinda pissed...hahaha..poor shampoo boy...!! hahaha..
we went back in to bugis.. shopped even more... and den we head home...

sat... early in the morning... someone msg-ed me...followed by grace's sms.... den the phone went silent...haha... had breakfast at home coz mummy went to do some grocery shopping... on the way she bought me and erjie food...yum yum.. after our breakfast, erjie and i went parkway for some window-shopping.. bought nailpolish...erjie bought 2 tops from mango... den we head home coz she had stuff to do... so sad.. while i am gonna stay over at dajie's place during the weekend.. dun miss me...becoz i noe u willl...muahaha... so came home..grabbed my big bag with clothes...and left...mummy came along... downstairs... i met yenpei!! GAL!! i miss u!!!! hahaha... muz meet up for coffee!! hahahaa...den met SAM MUMMY!! hahaa... two mummy!! oh no...hahah!! my real mummy said sam is so sweet looking!! hahaha....i totally agree!! hahaha.... took 36 down to orchard and changed bus....nearly lost my way..oops.. typical of me again...hahaha... reached dajie's place..bummed around...plaed with cat cat..and... we left for town to do more shopping... great singapore sale rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahaa.....i bought 2hair bands one orange one white... a handphone pouch...a handbag... while shoppin, we giggled... laughed loudly... played a fool... hahaha..had so so much fun!! hahaha... den it was dinner time... went to PS and had thai food at thai express...hahaha..so so full...walked a bit more... den we took a bus back....gosh!! my leg hurt so badly!! i thk it's swollen...!! argh... sorry to make u so worried jie....hmmm....back home... showered and watched more vcd till bout 3....den....zzzzzzzzz

sun... i decided to stay over till mon morning!! haha... dajie was delighted!! see!! i noe she simply loves me!! hahaha..gosh!! hahaha... had breakfast...watched tv while dajie did housework.....she was exhausted...hahhaa... den we showered and left the house at bout 4...super early...hahaa..went to suntec to get my top from dorothy perkins!! FINALLY!! hahaha...den we looked so dead...muz be due to consecutive shopping since fri....hahahhaa... so we went to swensen's and had an early dinner.......den we walked to bugis....bought a pair of earrings....!! hahahaa...den took a break at mos burger...we had a large ice milk tea....gosh.....!!! haha..den we took a bus to takashimaya...shopped more..and den headed for wisma.....shopped more.....and went PS..becoz erjie texted saying there's cheap tube tops for dajie to get at BYSI...so we went there....did some grocery shopping at carrefour...den...at bout 10...jiefu's younger bro came to fetch us home...so nice of him....hahaha... we were both dead beat!!! back home..showered...din watch any vcd...couldn't take it... but we watched some variety show on cable..laughed non stop....ahahaha..soon at bout 2....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


MON MORNING!!!!!!! here i am...home again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha...bet u guys miss me....hahaha..but.... sadly... i dun miss anything here....if only... if only dajie erjie and i could share and buy an apartment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEE!!!!!!! charmed ones!! i really wish this dream of mine could come true... i really cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!! it will be so much fun... the house would be filled with laughters...screams!!!! i simply love my 2 sisters!! they have been the sweetest pple in my life....thanks sistas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEXT LIFE TIME... i wanna be sisters again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DUN CARE!!!!!!!!!! i love u guys a lot a lot...hugs hugs..muacks.....

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lalala... today's another tiring day... well.... i took a cab to school this morning... it was raining so heavily... and i got stuck in a jam.. i realised tat cab drivers these few days are extremely RUDE!! their attitude sucks..! shall not explain further... if i tell my sis... guess this topic will be the headlines of forum....hahaha...

well... so i msged ms lee and told her i am stuck in a jam.. haha.. surprisingly.. her reply was.." so am i...haha..." my gosh.. i am not the only one..!! hahahaha... i had my right leg bandaged thanks to what happen during the weekend... argh... thanks pals for care and concerns...!! hahaha...

in the afternoon... there's band.. dr lee's not coming... oh no... muz be really busy for him...quickly come back!! haha.. hmm..so we had sectionals as well as combine.... most j1s were not around as they had learning journey... band ended rather early... but i stayed back till quite late... din feel like heading home.... haiz... nvm... yeah...

thanks sam and grace... esp sam... thank u for encouraging me and advicing me.. thank u very much... hugs hugs... grace..thanks for cheering me up wit those topics...haha.. really appreciated them... and also!! thanks mag!! thanks for ur hugs and care...really love u guys!! u guys are the reason why band is like a second home.... hugs to all.....


[ miss the times spent at CCHY!! cant wait for balloon hat festival to come!! cant wait to gather with my juniors as well as alumnis...hahaha...esp pple like XIUFENG, WEIJIE, VNCENT, HELEN....etc....hahhaa... take care u guys..hols are here..means more time to meet... yeah yeah yeah!!! ]


[ was rather in bad mood today..juz dun wan talk bout it....]

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another boring sunday..bumming around..simply not in the mood to get any work done... eldest sis coming home later..cant wait!! miss her so so much....

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yoz... haha..let's start writing bout yday...

FRIDAY... 20th MAY...

hahhaa...today lynnie din coem sch..so sad..haha...missed her so much..haha..hmmm...had SPE..sadly i'm under commando LEE...haha... had to run 8rounds...den played softball..haha..learnt how to bat...wee...it was fun!! hahaha.. so cool!! mayb shud consider softball next time...hahaha...NAH!! kiddin...sitting on the chair in an air-con room enjoying music is still better!! hahahaha... hmmm...after tat we had maths test!! oh my oh my...it was like...HUH!! tough man.. i was stuck at the first question...hahha...struggled my way through the paper....SO SO DEAD!! hahaha... den had chinese lecture... had listening compre trial....hahhaa... quite fun....got lost...hahaha...as usual....

after tat..had band pract... dr lee had a meeting elsewhere..and it ended late..so he missed this pract...we had rehearsals in the hall... SO WARM!! it's weird...becoz they said the stage air-con was on...hahahaha.... after band... grace suggested going to the bball court to see the guys play soccer...haha..it was fine with me.. since i wasnt in the mood to go home..so ya... some shud noe why....hmmm.. saw the volleyball team practicing.. i miss my vball days!!! hahahaa...... at first, grace michelle hwaee wanrong huifen weishun and alan played bball..while i stood there and watched... din want to play..coz i suck at bball.. after awhile..alan had to leave.. so i took over...hahaha.. my gosh.. i got my first ball in.. hwaee came after me!!! hahahahaha... we played tll near 8...den i left for home.... and i found myself alone at home...haiz... nvm den...took a shower... watched tv..slacked... and...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


SATURDAY...... 21st MAY

this after there's COLLEGE DAY...haha..so i reached sch bout 1230...haha..warmed up..tuned...and i heard bout the story of the "orange chair"....haha..shall not mention it hear....

hmmm...after everything... we heard there was packed food..so we hurried our way to the canteen..wanted to pay bball..but it rained.. shucks man...poor grace.. she had to return the ball.. can see she's sad.. gal... we'll play again!! hmmmm..... took a bus back.. went to parkway and got myself a pair of earrings...was all alone... den i went to my aunt's place for dinner...hahaha...

reached home...................... gonna be alone in the room tonight coz my dearest sis is at a chalet having fun... bummer........hahahhaa......love all of u out there... a big big hug... and a big big kiss!!!!!!

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this morning the bus was early.. so there was time to head for band room before assembly..haha.. had a lot of stuff with me.. becoz later in the afternoon..there was seasports heats...yawns..haha..

outside bandroom...michelle saw me..and asked me if i cut my hair.. gosh.. i told u guys i looked stupid.. grace started laughin... *sobx* I LOOK STUPID! haha.. thanks michelle for saying i look cute.. BUT!! i dun thk so... i look stupid! hahahaa.... thanks michelle for everything...thanks for ur concern... thanks for ur advice and console..!! haha.. dun say u din do anything.. u did alot!! hahaha.... hugs hugs...


lessons ended at bout 12.10... so we packed our stuff..dumped things in the locker..and headed for TM.. surprisingly, ryan was with us.. we were supposed to be against him..oh well..wadeva...hahaha... he definitely had a hard time trying to win us verbally...hahaa... too bad boy!! hahaha...


we did rather well in dragon boating... we were first...but...smth went wrong with the coordination somehow..haha..and i thk we got 3rd.. oh well.. at least we ain't last..muahahaha...!! well done guys!!!!!!!


jaclyn, chiah hui, jocelyn, yishan, i, ryan and berwyn left half way and headed for national stadium to bathe! hahaha...took quite some time...after tat we headed for bugis... 5 of us bought a watch each.. same design with 5 different colours.. ILU RAWKS...hahaha... dun care wad ryan says...hahaha!! though i feel i am always the "1"....sobx sobx...hahahaha.... had fun today.. tired....yawns....

[ i duno wad else i shud do.. i really miss u.. yearn to see u everyday...but... i couldn't... i expected this to happen... i dun blame u or anyone.. it's all my fault.... i caused all these misunderstandings..... ]

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yo yo yo..hahhaa.. another weekend is here!! haha... fast rite? hahaha....

hmmm..been missing a lot of pple... pple in CCHB... esp my dearest LILO!! hahaha.. been missing her so so much man!! finally tml can meet her for SP's band concert...!! haha.. darling!! WO LAI LE!! hahahaa... can imagine her running for her dear life....hahahhahahaa......


today...
went to meet yishan(shannie) and chiah hui(chingie) at bugis for shopping..haha.. shannie and i went to "chapter 2" to have our hair cut... hahaha.. i did treatment coz hairstylist said it was as dry as grass.... =( ....hahaha.. so i took like an hour plus...hahaha.. after that the 3 of us went shopping...haha.. bought a pair of earrings each...so lovely!! hahaha.. really enjoyed my time my dear gals...!! hahahahaha.... supposed to go out tml with the rest as a gang of 5 gals... but..too bad... some couldnt make it...hee... so... we postpone our gang outing next week!! hahahahaa.... CANT WAIT!!


hmmm.. whole day din talk to him... was respectful enough to greet him in the morning..but he simply ignored me... so like WTH... i did my own stuff and ignored him too... i couldnt stand it anymore... so i went to parkway to do some lonely shopping... den came back..got changed and left fot bugis!! if this carries on for the rest of my life... i'll be very happy..!! i rather u not talk den open ur mouth and start lecturing....



[ whatever i do.. i thk of u... wherever i go... i thk of u... u seem to fill my mind everytime!! why?! argh.. it is so so so annoying!! hahaa... i remember grace and i were arguing bout YES or NO.... i begin to start saying NO...hahaha..though... i realy hope to say YES.... YES???? NO??????? I DUNNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]

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yawns... today was a tiring day...hahhaa...

in the afternoon... i met grace outside bandroom straight after lessons... we went to canteen and i had my lunch while she watched...hahaha..


then we went back to bandroom and played our clar...later had rehearsal for college day... tiring..but fun....hahaha....


nth much to blog actually.. juz dun have the mood.. so many things happened around here.... and it hurts so much inside tat i wanna cry ALL out and hug someone...but.. tat will juz be a dream.......

i'm sorry jocelyn if i've showed u my attitude today and looked pissed... er..yes i was initially... since break time.. i duno why.. and things juz became worse...i'm sorry......... pls pretend tat u've not heard anything... juz let the matter rest...k? not only to jocelyn...to ILU too.... (if u ever come upon this) well..i noe we are supposed to tell each other stuff.... and mayb i;m too sensitive.. but for this matter...pls... IGNORE IT!!!!! coz i dun wan anything to go further and cause more misunderstandings......!!!! thanks guys............


after band... feelings got worse... really bad... i broke down..and mag darling came to comfort me with her hugs... michelle and grace too...thanks guys... thanks for being there for me all the time... tis is my 3rd time breaking down in band...so so sorry... oh and yes... kiong wee thinks it's becoz of his conducting....hahaha.. thanks for ur concern.....!! *applaude to u conducting us*

hahahhaa.... took a cab down to somewhere... stayed there for like half an hour.. and headed home.....

[ it was worse the moment i saw something!! why do i feel like this?? haiz... actually i knew this would happen.... i tried to control wad is inside... and i prayed to GOD tat he would gif me the strength to hold on and be strong.... but i tumbled... i controlled no more.... this matter PLUS wad happened days ago juz made me depressed... guess u wouldn't even noe.. even if u did.. would u care?? i doubt so.. mayb i'm too sensitive.......... really miss u....]

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juz tot they were meaningful... 

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to all my dear friends... 

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yipppee!! so fast it's wednesday!! i've been blogging these few days becoz i need to do PI.. so took some time to blogged...haha!!

after sch... shannie, chingnie, lynnie and me went to bubble tea shop... we had oreo ice blended...!! haha.. it tasted like milo.. but was nice!! thanks for the recommendation chingnie!! haha.. chowie din join us.. she went to the squash court..so we bought one cup back for her..hee.. see ILU gang so sweet...hahaha....LAME! haha... at 2.15, we had this security seminar... mainly talking bout defending singapore...joining the SAF..blah blah blah... chingnie shannie and i were playing with our phones..hahaha... my mind was pre-occupied....haiz... OOO! and yes... the second lieutanant was quite good looking...haha.. he was the reason why i looked at the stage and not zzzzz...hahaha...


after that.. went to band room... we had our rehearsal at the hall for college day.. din combine or had sectional.... but after the band was dismissed..many went home... but i stayed to play my clar... grace stayed as wel.. but she left at 7... leaving me...!! hahaha.. NO.. i dun blame her! hahaha... i packed after she left... and headed home........... took a cab... the driver drove along ECP.. as i looked at the sky... tears rolled down my eyes..... i couldn't control anymore......

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lalala.... i was so right bout the physics topical test!! haha... i'm so gonna flunk it!! hahaha..

when the paper came in front of me... my mind was blank...hahaha.. i began to doodle a bit here and there...hahaha... den started to think of formulae...hahaha... most of the MCQ... i tee-kum!! hahahaa...

it rained so heavily during chem tutorial..and we had lessons in an air-conditioned room!! BRRRRRR...hahahaha


after sch.. wanted to meet grace darling outside bandroom...but she had a lecture...and the comittee were having some meeting...so.. i went home..and continued my conversation with grace thru sms...hahahahaa... we have been gossiping bout stuff... grinning... and laughing whenever we meet..!! hahahaa.... OH NO! here i go again... grinning in front of my computer!! oh no oh no.....!! hahahaa....


NEED TO RUSH MY P.I!! argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so irritating!! WHY MUZ THERE BE PW????!??!?!?!?!?!?!?! I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ couldnt concentrate today........]
[ i have been thinking bout her.. NO I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!]
[ lord pls give the strength to hold on till the very end... gif her the energy to fight....place ur loving arms around her and hug her for me...for i cannot be there for her... lord... pls love her, protect her and tell her...."HOLD ON MY CHILD!!"]

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lalala.. back in school today... feeling so empty and lost becoz there wont be band for the next few days... haiz...

this morning went to band room first b4 assembly... i guess this will be the routine...haha..thanks to bus 12 coming so early..dun wanna stand like at the courtyard like a dumb dumb..hahaha...

met grace michelle and nathasha at one table... crapping away... can't talk much with my hoarse voice...yeeks.. so disgusting...hahaha.... den we hurried off for assembly... thanks suvenna for her warm wishes asking me to take care..haha...

today was kind of slack la... tired out and irritated with my blocked nose!! argh!! been msging grace thru-out the day...haha.. luff-ing my head off...cannot stand it!! thanks gal for cheering me up all the time.. and also for making me believe in hope!! hahaha.... but.. deep inside.. i still doubt it...hahaha


came home... took medication... fell straight to bed...... gonna study for faculty test tml!! YEEKS! so gonna fail.... these are topics i can never get it right!! hahahaa..!!


[ ur smiles are everything to me..... all i asked...are for u to smile everyday...... as long as i noe u are happy... i will be happy.... so pls..smile!! hahaha....] LAMEEE!!!

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today's a lousy day!! i hate everything!!

why am i brought here?? why do i have to suffer the pain???

received a sms from somebody...and i fel so stupid.. felt like an idiot all these while.. thanks for spoiling my day!! dunno if i shud blame u.. or blame myself for my stupidity...!! FEEL LIKE A REAL DUMBO!!!

becoz of this.. i dare not put hope into anything i do.. i dare not face challenges.. whenever i fall into something deeply... i'll back off and HIDE...thanks for all tat u've done to me!!

[ the sentences dun link.. i noe.. i'm sorry.. coz i'm too confused!! no one understands wad i am going thru... i am so so ALONE!!!! ]


[ HE asked me how was school... i juz told him it was alright... and he started yelling at me... saying tat he doesnt see me put effort into wad i am doing.... and he starts digging up past stuff and threw them verbally at me... ( i understand how lilo feels)... WAD THE HELL... if i say it's not alright.. he oso scold... say alright..oso scold.. so wad he want me to say???! argh!! juz cannot understand him... DOUBT HE UNDERSTANDS ME EITHER!! canot stand it.. feel like running away...run away from all this shit tat u created and expect me to clear up... i DUN NEED u to shower 100% of ur love on me... all i ask for is bout wad... 5%... but NO...u dun even gif me like 0.5%... u shower all 100% onto HER... and wad hurts me most is... I CANNOT HATE HER!! I LOVE HER TOO MUCH.. and i want wad's best for her.... wadeva she wants... u'll do all u can to get it... do u noe how i feel when i see this situation??! DOUBT SO! ]


[ dear lord.. u noe me best.. i thank u for answering my prayers when i was in need... lord.. thank u very much for walking beside me.. comforting me whenever tears start to well up in my eyes... lord..i love u so so much.. and i noe u love me more than anyone else in this world does... i thank u lord for all u've done...esp when i dun get the love i want from home.. u ask my friends to shower their love on me.... thank u lord.. i love u deeply.... ]

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